On 2016

Hi friends. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

I’ve been home for about two weeks now, having just finished my first semester of sophomore year. I forget how busy and tired I get throughout the semester, to the point where the things that I love to do, like free-write, end up being put on the back-burner.

That’s something I’d like to work on going into next semester, just managing my time more wisely, so I have time for things I like, as well as for things I actually have to do.

Ah, consistent writing. It’s been one of my New Year’s Resolutions for many years, but maybe next year will be the year (she says with a deep, deep sigh).

2016 was a weird, sad year. I think the general consensus will agree.

I remember when I was little, someone told me that you know you’re growing up when it feels like time passes by way too quickly, when you feel like you don’t have time for anything anymore. And this year felt very much like that, time passing by too quickly with not much recollection of it.

366 days is a lot of time. What do I have to show for it? How am I different? Am I feeding into this machine of routine and genericness that I can’t figure out how I’ve grown from last year to this one?

But looking back at it, though the days blur together, I changed a lot in 2016. It was a year of realizing what was good for me and what wasn’t. It was a year where I tried new things, taking on roles and doing things that challenged me, rather than staying in my safe bubble.

As time passes, I feel myself coming into more of who I am and who I want to be. Compared to myself last year—who was always so unsure of herself and sought validation from others and held onto things because they were safe, not healthy—this year, I managed to change the way I approached things. I became more confident in myself and the things I have to say, though at times, I do still find it hard to say everything that’s going through my mind. I let go of people who were a constant negative energy around me, and though those ties aren’t completely severed, I’m not trapped in that space anymore. I’m going after more opportunities and opening myself up to help from others, little by little.

Yeah. It was a year of growth.

Though these changes obviously can’t be attributed to the fact that it’s 2016, just having a year that represents all that growth is amazing to me. And as this year goes into the next, it’s a reminder that that growth will hopefully just continue.

And even though 2016 was a mess in many other aspects, I feel like that’s how every year will appear once we reach its end. Because 366 days is a lot. A lot happens, a lot changes, for the good and for the bad. We make compilations of all the moments, snapshots and reminders of wait, that only happened this year? wow, it feels like it’s been forever.

I don’t know what 2017 has in store for me. I just know that it’ll feel like it’ll pass by in an instant, even if there are currently 365 days laid out in front of me. It may be worse than this year or it may be better, but time’s still ticking. It goes on.

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