My body aches.
It’s nothing serious, just a slight discomfort as I go about my day. But it’s when those daily activities become monotonous. That’s when the feeling is the strongest.
The pain starts centrally, closest to the middle of the body, near the heart, the spine, and it moves outwards. A centrifugal force. The pain disperses with that motion, but I’m still left with my entire body feeling, every part of it alert and responsive.
There’s the strongest aches that start at my shoulders and the top of my hip and my thighs. It’s the ones I feel the most. The pain doesn’t bother me that much, though. This type of pain, though not normal, is familiar. It’s the ache felt when I haven’t moved in a while, the ache that reminds my body to be active, to be alive because I’m given this shell that holds my thoughts and mind and soul, and I shouldn’t let that waste away. It’s at the places that I’m constantly trying to stretch, to reach, to make better, but to no avail. It’s a good ache, painful, but a good reminder.
And then there’s the aches that hit my elbows and knees. It’s less of an ache and more of a throbbing, like a warning of something bad to come. An injury before it happens. A sign of foreboding. It’s a middle of the road type of pain, not excruciating, but like my body needs to be attended to before the warning signs turn into something more. And I do try to solve the issue when it gets too much. I squeeze, rub, and lightly punch the areas, trying to get the throbbing to stop, but none of it works. I’m still left with this ache, but I learn to deal with the discomfort.
Last, there’s the aches that are felt in my fingers and my toes. Again, they aren’t really aches per se, but more of a tingling feeling, like they’re itching for something, but I haven’t figured it out yet. These are the aches that are the most annoying. It revolves the parts of my body I always try to keep occupied, through tapping, through fidgeting, through nonsensical habits like nail biting and foot shaking. But the feeling just won’t go away.
Unlike the other two aches, which are reminders of things to do, of consequences to come if I keep ignoring the pain, this last ache is chronic. I’m not ignoring the pain, it’s the opposite. I’m constantly attending to it. Furiously typing with my fingers, the flexing of my foot, yet nothing is alleviated. It’s a problem that I don’t know the solution to, no matter how hard I try.
So there’s one solution I see to all of this. Start attending to the biggest problems, the aches in my shoulders, and work my way down to the smaller ones, the ones in my elbows and knees and then the ones in fingers and toes.
The bigger problems will creep up on me at my weakest moments, and make the small ones seem trivial in comparison. There’s no use in focusing on the small things when there are bigger issues on the back burner, things that can ultimately be causing me the smaller troubles.
It’s time to stop ignoring and start solving.